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I talked to my small children about pornography, here’s what happened…

I got the phone call from a friend one day and she was on the verge of tears.  Her and her husband were separating after years of marriage and multiple children. All due to her husband’s pornography addiction that had started when he was 8 years old… my jaw dropped.  I thought to myself “I have an 8 year old” and pornography is waaaay more accessible now than it was 30 years ago!  

Why I decided to teach my little children about pornography.

Since that conversation, I have heard story after story from close friends and family members of pornography exposure at young ages and how that has completely ruined their loved ones lives. The most horrifying was to learn that a woman’s son had been exposed to it at the age of 6, became completely addicted, and the Mom found out when he was 17 that he had been molesting his younger siblings for years! These are all from good Christian families! Can you even imagine!?!  Here I am trying to keep my children safe from the “creepers” of the world and by neglecting to discuss and prepare my kids to turn away from pornography I could actually be raising said “creepers.” That horrified me!

So I researched… I asked friends and family members, I read books, found resources online and I decided I was going to do my best as a parent to teach my children the dangers of pornography. A good friend of mine recommended the book Good Pictures Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today’s Young Kids by Kristen Jenson and I pulled out my phone and immediately bought it.

I talked to my kids about Pornography!

I sat down with Chadburn first.  We curled up on my bed and began to read.  The book is a story about a mother teaching her son about how the brain works, what pornography is, how it affects us, and what we should do when we see it. He had so many amazing questions.  We snuggled and discussed the entire book for over an hour. It was an incredibly bonding experience for the two of us! At one point he said “Mom, can I bring this book to share at school? I think there is a lot of really good information in here that everyone should learn.” Oh sweet child, I love that he wants to look out for his friends! We probably can’t share this book at school but we should definitely let as many people know about it as possible!

This fall I sat down and listened to the author on The Mom Conference.  And she talked about why she created the book and that she also just released the book Good Pictures, Bad Pictures Jr. for little children.  It wasn’t on Amazon Prime at that point so of course I ran out and bought that version, at Deseret Book,  to read to Clark.  Once again, we curled up on my bed and began to read.  He loved looking at the pictures and finding the hidden cameras.  He thought it was fun to practice “Turn, Run, & Tell”  He liked whispering in my ear and telling me a secret.

Thankfully none of my kids had been exposed to pornography that they could remember. I’m so happy that at the end of the book it has ideas for parents to teach their children ways to forget bad pictures once they do see them because they will see them.

Protecting my kids is my job as a mother!

I was realizing that my kids are spending more and more time on computers for school work and kindles for fun.  Chadburn had an assignment for school and decided to look up pictures to help him draw a brochure that was due.  I realized a few minutes after the fact, that he was searching the word Fox.  We have parental settings & filters on our computer but I was realizing that certain innocent words could still possibly come up with soft pornography tossed in. Thankfully, nothing inappropriate popped up.

I think it’s easy to think that our house is safe, we have filters, good books, good shows… but they aren’t always home. They are hanging out at friend’s houses where there may be older siblings & their friends with phones or laptops.  My son has friends at school that have their own Instagram account.  My husband and I have had more friend requests of scantily clad women than we care to count. Kids are curious and they are going to share what they find with their friends. Honestly, I was exposed to pornography when I was 14 and babysitting at a house that had their x-rated movies on the same shelf as their Disney movies.  It’s going to happen! When they leave our house they need to be taught and prepared for the dangers in the world.

Let’s be careful with our kids! Let’s prepare them and give them the tools to succeed! Let’s prioritize teaching our children about pornography! It’s not a matter of if they will see pornography but when!  

I love these books so much that I reached out to Kristin Jensen to see if she would be willing to give one of these books away for free to one of my readers.  Follow me on Instagram to see how you can win!

Here are a few websites and resources that I love!

  • I absolutely love this article. It’s a well written article from a psychiatrist about the science behind pornography.
  • This is a great video for younger children that is based on the Good Picture, Bad Picture books! 
  • This is Kristen Jenson’s website Protect Young Minds she is a wonderful resource on how to protect our kids!
  • Fight the New Drug is a great resource overall!  I really read through and used it when preparing a lesson for the teenagers of my church.
  • This is a fabulous little video about the dangers of pornography for an older child.


We took our own good picture at 10:30 at night after our awesome discussion!

 

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3 Comments

  • Reply Caroline Shillig

    Thanks for sharing! The church also has a great video we shared with ours. I will look into the book.

    November 30, 2017 at 6:39 pm
  • Reply Lindsey Schuh

    This is so important and I’m so glad I came across your article and these resources! I have 3 boys of my own (6, 4 & 2) and they are growing up in a digital godless world which can be scary sometimes as a parent but resources like this give me encouragement. I also rarely see real men anymore…I mean that in many ways but I work hard to raise them to be chivalrous because I believe practicing little gestures of respect remind men to hold their head of high and find joy in respecting women. I hope this carries over in other ways as well and they will look away when they encounter pornography. God bless you and thank you for writing this! I’ll be heading to Amazon now… 😊

    December 1, 2017 at 2:22 am
  • Reply Melissa

    Chelsea I’m so bummed you moved away! I would have loved to get to know you more since my thinking is on the same page as you! Great article! I bought 3 books, two to give as a gift! Love your blog! Best wishes,
    Melissa

    December 2, 2017 at 6:29 am
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